overpowered gay

gopher it.   send stuff.   about me.   my face.   

i'm falon. i'm 20 years o­ld & i live in oregon.
pronouns: she/her or they/them.
chumhandle: macabreMusician

SYLPH OF HEART

DERSE DREAMER

non-binary/genderfluid. women-loving person. infp. ­photograph­er. musici­an. taco e­nthusiast.­ coffee lo­ver. homestuck.
vampi­re slayer.­ minecraft­ addict. w­omen's soc­cer suppor­ter. cinem­atography ­fan. socia­l justice ­advocate.

macabremusician:

so i’ve been mia for a while. i’m still not going to be on here much because i don’t want to see anything that could potentially add fuel to my depression and anxiety. i had a depressive episode a couple months ago and my mood is still pretty unstable so i’m trying to steer clear of stuff that might trigger another episode. which is really hard because a lot of things have just…gone to shit. which is kind of why i’m making this post. it’s selfish of me but i think people who still follow me probably care about me and might want to know how i’m doing. so this is an update post i guess.

- we’re for sure moving, we got the house and everything.

- i stopped strattera because it wasn’t working and started adderall which at 20mg a day was totally working but instead of focusing on school i focused on minecraft for 8 hours at a time probably because i was already in over my head and yeah my psychiatrist admitted we caught it too late in the term

- my great aunt died a couple months ago

- i realized that when i stand up straight i’m taller than my friend arette who for some reason i thought was taller than me for like an entire fucking year

- i’ve been questioning my gender and what it means in relation to my sexuality. i’ve been chatting on skype with a lot of cool people, many of whom are non-binary. and i think i might be non-binary, specifically genderfluid. but i’m still not quite sure. if i am non-binary though i’m kind of uncertain what i would call my sexuality. and i’ve also started to accept that my sexual orientation does not line up with my romantic orientation. i’m pansexual. i can be sexually attracted to all genders. however, my romantic orientation is… homoromantic? if i’m non-binary that doesn’t quite work. but yeah. i started to say i could be romantically attracted to non-binary people, but… i also can be sort of romantically attracted to guys. but it doesn’t last at all. and isn’t strong. and if i don’t have romantic attraction to a person i can’t sustain sexual attraction to them. i kind of confirmed this with a short thing i had with my non-binary friend. or. i guess that is what made me question things more. i don’t struggle to sustain romantic and sexual attraction to women. and maybe there’s a reason for this that lies in the whole “nurture” aspect of things. but i don’t think that matters too much since this is how i am right now and have been since i can remember. but yeah i’ve been trying out they/them pronouns, still okay with she/her since i am definitely a woman sometimes. he/him is okay unless it is done specifically to misgender and hurt me, which i’ve found, is very upsetting. so she/her or they/them is best.

- told my cishet white male friend about my gender and sexuality stuff and he predictably acted like an asshole who doesn’t know anything about a thing but continued to push his opinion on a thing. he apologized for that. i’m still not sure how to feel about it though. we get along really well other than that and it kind of hurt to hear a lot of transphobic things from him. i dunno.

- i think i understand blackrom after said cishet white male friend’s girlfriend (who i knew before i knew cishet white male friend) who often irritates the shit out of me (and i’m positive i often irritate the shit out of her too [but i still see as an equal]) stood really close to me while fixing my hair in the hall and i was like. ok this is blackrom i get it now

- i did my art project in minecraft

- i managed to pass my classes (A in personal health, B in history of western art, C in college algebra [which is frustrating because i’m good at math but three of my disorders were like “lmao you think you’re going to go to school? that’s funny” and i failed a test and yeah passing was an accomplishment after that]) and maintain a gpa above 3.5

- my back started killing me and i was like “well fuck you too, scoliosis”

- soccer games. totally have a crush on a player for portland thorns fc. sinead farrelly more like crying my eyes out you have nose freckles. also speaking of freckles sky blue fc played portland last uhh wednesday meaning kelley o’hara was within 400 feet of me for 2 1/2 hours meaning i was dry sobbing pitch side in the rain trying to get decent enough photos

- my grandpa died yesterday and i’m really sad and worried about my mom

- haven’t submitted the photos from wednesday because i’m stressed as fuck

- i’ve been missing someone and i’m sad about that

- just generally sad

- i probably forgot something but oh well i’ll probably just edit it (i’m editing it right now lmao)

reblogging for anyone who didn’t see and might want to

— 3 weeks ago with 4 notes
#falon vs the world 

so i’ve been mia for a while. i’m still not going to be on here much because i don’t want to see anything that could potentially add fuel to my depression and anxiety. i had a depressive episode a couple months ago and my mood is still pretty unstable so i’m trying to steer clear of stuff that might trigger another episode. which is really hard because a lot of things have just…gone to shit. which is kind of why i’m making this post. it’s selfish of me but i think people who still follow me probably care about me and might want to know how i’m doing. so this is an update post i guess.

- we’re for sure moving, we got the house and everything.

- i stopped strattera because it wasn’t working and started adderall which at 20mg a day was totally working but instead of focusing on school i focused on minecraft for 8 hours at a time probably because i was already in over my head and yeah my psychiatrist admitted we caught it too late in the term

- my great aunt died a couple months ago

- i realized that when i stand up straight i’m taller than my friend arette who for some reason i thought was taller than me for like an entire fucking year

- i’ve been questioning my gender and what it means in relation to my sexuality. i’ve been chatting on skype with a lot of cool people, many of whom are non-binary. and i think i might be non-binary, specifically genderfluid. but i’m still not quite sure. if i am non-binary though i’m kind of uncertain what i would call my sexuality. and i’ve also started to accept that my sexual orientation does not line up with my romantic orientation. i’m pansexual. i can be sexually attracted to all genders. however, my romantic orientation is… homoromantic? if i’m non-binary that doesn’t quite work. but yeah. i started to say i could be romantically attracted to non-binary people, but… i also can be sort of romantically attracted to guys. but it doesn’t last at all. and isn’t strong. and if i don’t have romantic attraction to a person i can’t sustain sexual attraction to them. i kind of confirmed this with a short thing i had with my non-binary friend. or. i guess that is what made me question things more. i don’t struggle to sustain romantic and sexual attraction to women. and maybe there’s a reason for this that lies in the whole “nurture” aspect of things. but i don’t think that matters too much since this is how i am right now and have been since i can remember. but yeah i’ve been trying out they/them pronouns, still okay with she/her since i am definitely a woman sometimes. he/him is okay unless it is done specifically to misgender and hurt me, which i’ve found, is very upsetting. so she/her or they/them is best.

- told my cishet white male friend about my gender and sexuality stuff and he predictably acted like an asshole who doesn’t know anything about a thing but continued to push his opinion on a thing. he apologized for that. i’m still not sure how to feel about it though. we get along really well other than that and it kind of hurt to hear a lot of transphobic things from him. i dunno.

- i think i understand blackrom after said cishet white male friend’s girlfriend (who i knew before i knew cishet white male friend) who often irritates the shit out of me (and i’m positive i often irritate the shit out of her too [but i still see as an equal]) stood really close to me while fixing my hair in the hall and i was like. ok this is blackrom i get it now

- i did my art project in minecraft

- i managed to pass my classes (A in personal health, B in history of western art, C in college algebra [which is frustrating because i’m good at math but three of my disorders were like “lmao you think you’re going to go to school? that’s funny” and i failed a test and yeah passing was an accomplishment after that]) and maintain a gpa above 3.5

- my back started killing me and i was like “well fuck you too, scoliosis”

- soccer games. totally have a crush on a player for portland thorns fc. sinead farrelly more like crying my eyes out you have nose freckles. also speaking of freckles sky blue fc played portland last uhh wednesday meaning kelley o’hara was within 400 feet of me for 2 1/2 hours meaning i was dry sobbing pitch side in the rain trying to get decent enough photos

- my grandpa died yesterday and i’m really sad and worried about my mom

- haven’t submitted the photos from wednesday because i’m stressed as fuck

- i’ve been missing someone and i’m sad about that

- just generally sad

- i probably forgot something but oh well i’ll probably just edit it (i’m editing it right now lmao)

— 3 weeks ago with 4 notes
#falon vs the world 
paisley-autumn:

"I discard all my feelings. As the stars still scar my ceiling I won’t spare you. I won’t spare you.”
Lately, I really relate to this song. So I finally doodled it.

paisley-autumn:

"I discard all my feelings.
As the stars still scar my ceiling
I won’t spare you. I won’t spare you.”

Lately, I really relate to this song. So I finally doodled it.

— 3 weeks ago with 257 notes
#cool art  #lyrics 

staygoldlucho:

chia-like, i shall grow//say anything


And my pain is mine
It’s become my friend with time
Chia-like, it grows, now watch it fester for my foes.

— 3 weeks ago with 599 notes
#music 

getting increasingly frustrated w/ the gender binary each time my family tries to figure out if “it” is a man or a woman

— 2 months ago
#gender stuff  #falon vs the world 
egnoodle:


sanityleaving asked you: 
Janeroxy visiting a park and chilling on a blanket, maybe feeding each other food or something? Bonus points if Jadefef is there too

I couldn’t get to the Jadefef but here you go! (this came out way more pastel, and smaller, then i intended wow)

egnoodle:

 asked you: 

Janeroxy visiting a park and chilling on a blanket, maybe feeding each other food or something? Bonus points if Jadefef is there too

I couldn’t get to the Jadefef but here you go! (this came out way more pastel, and smaller, then i intended wow)

— 2 months ago with 47 notes
#janeroxy  #cotton candy  #jane  #roxy  #queue 
chuchunachu:


Are you satisfied?

I am no one’s best friend

chuchunachu:

Are you satisfied?
I am no one’s best friend
— 2 months ago with 91 notes
#damara  #falon vs the world  #negative  #queue 
miloyeo:

one of my fav dancestors :3

miloyeo:

one of my fav dancestors :3

— 2 months ago with 37 notes
#meulin  #queue